So, one thing is pretty clear about the first part of pregnancy: we don’t know when exactly it begins. That is, until the doctor tells us. In my case, it was a little up and down. I’ll start at the beginning.
I’ve always wanted children, ever since I was a little girl. I knew motherhood was in my wake. And to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about waiting. But, I semi-reluctantly stayed on birth control until I knew my husband was ready. I mean, having a steady job, being financially stable, owning a house… all those things were important to me as well as him, and having a baby in college would be really, really hard. That’s why I used the word “semi-reluctantly.”
But then, over the last three years, I watched multiple women go through what I desired so much to have. There was only one thing that eased my mind: God’s timing is perfect. If I wasn’t supposed to have a baby, then it wasn’t right.
May came, as did graduation, and Jimmy agreed that the timing was right! In June, it was obvious that our first month’s attempt didn’t work. That’s fine! I wasn’t exactly expecting it to anyway. This may be a little TMI for some of you, but at that point my periods were pretty regular, though I could go a month and a half without one.
This is where the Not-Knowing became… adventurous.
In July, nothing happened. The at-home pregnancy tests, though probably early, were negative. But Aunt Flow didn’t show. So over the course of the next 8 weeks, I took more tests (a total of 5), and continued to get negative results. I’m used to a late period, but really not that late. Once we got health insurance figured out, I saw a family practice doctor and insisted on having a test, because either way, something was up and I wanted to know.
The test was positive! I was elated! But I still didn’t know much. The fact was, I knew that my body wasn’t exactly tuned like a clock, so when the doctor pulled out a calculator and said I was 11 weeks, I was suspicious. But dang! I wanted it to be true! Especially since I hadn’t suffered very much and the thought of feeling my baby that soon made me so happy.
I scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN, and began calling loved ones and such. I was thinking it was going to be a March baby, but I was a little concerned about going public until I knew for sure.
Oh yeah, then all that morning sickness came. This is something I truly can live without. I am nauseated multiple times a day, including when I wake up and when I go to sleep. I’ve even vomited a few times, which is horrible. I feel that lactose may be making it worse, because it seems like every time I have milk or ice cream, I’m digging my own grave. It was a challenge to not vent my frustrations on Facebook. So, I’ve exhausted ginger ale, saltine crackers, and peppermint. Currently, I’m taking vitamin B6, which might be helping a little.
What I can’t stand even more than nausea, though, is hating food. Every smell makes me want to gag. Even thinking about food. Nothing sounds good at all. Right now, I just eat because I’m so hungry all the time. It’s a terrible trick of nature: being starving and having no appetite.
But finally, I got the facts. Fearing I was almost 3 months pregnant and hadn’t had an ultrasound, I called the OB office to see if they could get me in earlier, and luckily, they had an opening and it was one that Jimmy could come to. That’s when I discovered that, no, I wasn’t 12 weeks along, I was 7 weeks along. My baby wasn’t strawberry-sized, it was blueberry-sized.
I hate to say I was disappointed, but I’m just so darn excited to start a family! All moms are rolling their eyes, because I have more time, but I just keep trying to remember: God’s timing is perfect.
And my bundle of joy will be arriving right on schedule, whenever that is!