38 Weeks… and so, so ready

I hit the 38 week mark the other day, and it is a little baffling how quickly the “get out of me” phase came on. I knew once I hit 37 weeks that I was going to feel a little bit anxious, because most babies start getting born between 37 and 42 weeks. And now, she’s putting on half a pound a week or about an ounce a day, so every day feels harder, and heavier!

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I would say that around the middle of my 37th week, I started to feel like I could go back to being normal again. I mean, being exhausted and not being able to shop for clothes, among other things, has been harder than normal, but my little one is safe inside and I could manage to do most things.

She doesn’t cry. She doesn’t hurt. She doesn’t need to be fed or changed. And my hands are free. I mean, I’ve wanted to meet her for a long while, but in general, pregnancy is nice for a mom.

But then she dropped.

The baby dropping is basically just the body moving downward. It’s easier on your lungs and stomach, but your bladder and pelvis get much more uncomfortable. And now, I’m in pain frequently. Mainly when I have to move, but also when I don’t have to move. My hips are loose and achey, my stretch marks itch like crazy, my bladder is pinched, I can’t sleep for more than 4 hours at a time, girlie is so big and boney that it hurts sometimes, and anytime I try to roll over or adjust or get up from anywhere, hello raging groin pain.

You don’t really know what being fed up is until you’ve been pregnant for this long.

Although, I suppose that could just be because you are being prepared for parenthood.

I am trying so hard NOT to expect an early baby. I’m trying to tell myself, “You just have probably 2 or 3 more weeks, maybe a little longer, and you’re done!”

Two or three more weeks sounds insanely close to anyone else. But imagining this going on for another 2 or 3 weeks is so hard.

You’ll only be disabled and cranky and in pain for 2, maybe 3 more weeks. But it could all end today, too.

And add to that the fact that once you’re done, you actually get to meet this human you’ve been preparing for, someone you will love forever… well, it doesn’t help make the urgency go away.

So I’ve been trying to distract myself. Writing, reading, watching boatloads of television. It’s not really helping. Especially because every time that she moves (which is all the time), I long to see her. I want to touch her little hands and kiss her feet and cuddle and see Daddy do all the same things.

And I could get induced in a couple days. But I don’t want that. Not for me.

Truly, I completely respect women for whatever birth choices they make. I mean, I really could blame no one for doing whatever it takes to get a baby out. This feeling is powerful! For a medicated or unmedicated birth/c-section, at home or in a hospital, on a chosen day or spontaneously, as long and mom and baby are healthy enough to merit the choice, I’m a supporter. But I know that surgeries and inductions add risk to healthy pregnancies, like mine. I know that I am capable of waiting, just as I am capable of birthing naturally.

I just wish SHE WOULD COME OUT ALREADY!

So I’ll keep drinking red raspberry leaf tea, eating pineapple and spicy food, and walking as often as I can without completely wearing myself out. I’ll do those and anything else I can think of to safely try to convince my little girl that we’re good to go!

We’re ready for you EV!

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