As of this moment, I’m sick. And though I usually am pretty miserable to be around when I’m ill because of my mopey-ness, especially considering that I can’t take any medicine and this cold falls on top of the regular pregnancy ailments, I’ve actually been ok. I’ve been feeling a lot of gratitude. I’ve had all sorts of reasons to be sad, stressed, depressed, you name it, but my focus has been on the things I love about my life.
I’m nearing the end of my second trimester. I know, I know, crazy! I’m 24 weeks along, and that means it’s less than 13 weeks before I’m full term. And we will probably meet this kid before Halloween, which, if it didn’t smack you upside the head like it did me, is the next major holiday of 2015. Fourth of July came and went, and now we are just sailing through summer until the insanity of the Holiday season, during which I will definitely have a newborn child. EV was a super cute patriot, but she won’t be alone in these pictures for much longer!
Because Baby Peppercorn (whose temporary name I will likely change) will be here soon!
As you can clearly see, Baby Peppercorn isn’t really all that tiny anymore. This kid is definitely starting to make itself known. That’s why I’m probably going to start calling him/her Wiggler. I seriously don’t know if this kid sleeps some days. The movements can be clearly seen and they happen very often!
This is the main reason I love the second trimester!
You see, with the first trimester, there is hardly anything to love. You’re sick, you’re not showing, you can’t feel anything, and you have to restrict yourself in a lot of areas. It’s hard to be excited about a baby when you’re not entirely convinced there is one and you feel miserable. But, there is something magical I love about those first weeks. It’s hard to describe, but you get to plan and imagine what the future holds with a lot less panic than when the time is near. And there is something sweet about your child being so tiny inside of you, knowing nothing else but this cozy pocket we call a womb.
And the third trimester, well, that’s it’s own excitement. Not only are you going crazy because you want to see your baby and actually put it DOWN for 5 seconds, but you’re huge, and achey, and you see the bathroom at least once every two hours. Everything is ten times harder than its ever been, so thank goodness it doesn’t last long. Except for the last 2-4 weeks. Those DRAG ON FOREVER. If you go long enough, you actually wonder if the baby will ever come out. Ever. But, man, you are never closer to your baby than you are during the third trimester. That’s the best part. That and the fact that you have so little time before you get to hold your baby!
But, I love the second trimester. A lot! It’s the time when all the sickness from the first is gone and before all the acheyness of the third has arrived. You’ve finally got the cute baby bump and can put some of those ridiculously priced maternity clothes to good use. People start striking up conversation about your baby, and though it’s not always appreciated, it can be nice to know that people recognize the impending bundle of joy. Sure, not everything is coming up roses. You probably are still slower to get up, quicker to the bathroom, and suffer from some ailments like swollen ankles or soreness. In general, though, it feels the most normal of the three and you still get all the benefits of being pregnant. You can actually DO lots of things, and you can’t help looking adorable with that belly sticking out just enough.
The best part, though, my favorite part of pregnancy, is the wiggling. It’s that first window into who your kid is. Are they calm? Jumpy? Persistent? Playful? Active? Shy? These are just a few things you can learn from paying attention to your Wiggler. It feels really cool. Like you’re cuddling a little person with your belly, but this person is just playing gleefully. And it’s a frequent reminder that you’re a mom. You’ve got a kid who not only relies on you, but is having such a grand ol’ time, they’re just swimming around, getting a feel for being just a little bigger than yesterday.
Obviously, it’s not just the feeling of it for me. It’s the concept. I can’t say that I enjoy being pregnant 24/7, but I am in love with the concept of what it means to bring a human into the world. That’s why I’d do this a dozen more times. Being incapable of so many tasks is sucky, but I get to house a baby in my body, which happens to be the coziest, closest place. They get 24-hour “womb service”, so they’re always happy. Then, I go through the hardest task I’ve ever been given in order to meet this person, and love just pours over everything. My heartbeat, my voice, my smell, my cradling all create a soothing environment for this baby to be in as it learns how to be a part of the world. It’s profound, something created by God, and I feel glad and lucky to be able to be an intricate part of this piece of life.
Because Lord knows I do not like being pregnant for the nausea.
Still, we aren’t sure when we’ll do this again. Having babies is a lot of work, and it would be nice to have a break. I’m at God’s mercy, but the plan is to put off a third baby for a few years. Perhaps we will feel that two kids is right for us. Honestly, God did a lot of work in my heart making me feel content with just one. And that’s when baby two showed up! So, at the risk of learning that lesson all over again, I will just focus on my current situation and what I can do to further the Kingdom of God.
Easier said than done, I think.
But, I have a lot to the be thankful for. My life is brimming with love, and not just because I’m in my second trimester.